Take me out, Remus style!
by Thisisan-old-account-forget-it
Summary: Remus Lupin was sick of being shunned. So he takes things to a whole new level...a muggle dating show. Remus/Tonks, don't like, don't read. Valentine's day special. READ AND REVIEW!


**Hi guys! Sorry I've been away so long...my internet is down. Anyway, my new one-shot! Read and Review!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own HP, Or Remus/Tonks.**

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Well, this was it. I had been so desperate to be loved, I had gone on the muggle TV show, Take me out. It was worth a try, I suppose. I heard the guy - Parry…no, Laddy…Paddy, that was it - introducing me. Hearing my cue, I ran down the stairs, and gulped. There, right next to me, were thirty beautiful women. Three in particular caught my eye. The first, a blonde called Lydia. The second, a brunette called Aimee. The third, a young woman called Dora, with bright, bubble gum pink hair. I hoped they wouldn't turn off their lights. Realising everyone was staring at me, I decided to introduce myself.

"Hello, my name is Remus John Lupin, and I am thirty years old." I said quietly, but my voice was heard perfectly. "I am here to find a date, maybe even love."

Two lights went off.

"I like women who can understand me, and love me for who I am. I would be caring, lovable, kind and passionate, if the woman returned the love."

Five lights went out. I began to lose hope.

"And I would be willing to buy flowers every Thursday, maybe even share some of my chocolate."

One more light went out.

"Well, now we know the guy." Paddy called, walking towards some of the women. "Now let's find out what the women feel. Kate, why'd you turn your light off?"

A ginger, who was obviously Kate, looked at me.

"Well, I just wanted a date, nothing serious. And the scars kind of put me off." she said. Paddy nodded.

"Ok. Dora-" he went over to the pink haired girl. "Why'd you keep your light on?"

She looked nervous, but when she spoke, she sounded confident.

"Well, I like the sound of this guy. PLUS, I reckon the scars make him braver than most men." she said confidently. I blushed.

"So." Paddy continued, walking away. "We've heard the opinions from the women. What are the opinions from the friends?"

A screen came on. I saw James, Lily and Sirius, and I cringed. This was going to be embarrassing. James spoke first.

"Now ladies, Remus here is one of the most caring guys you will ever meet, despite some problems." He said, grinning. "He has a slight addiction to chocolate, and WON'T share it. Ever."

Nine lights went out, including Lydia. Now there were just fourteen lights left. Lily elbowed James.

"My husband here is a prat, totally opposite to dear Remus here. He's a really caring guy, and adores children. I remember when I was having my first child, and Remus was there at every moment, seeing to my needs, while James was passed out on the floor."

The audience laughed. I was scared though; Sirius was next. When he appeared, eight more lights went out, including Aimee. I sighed.

"Before you get your hopes up, ladies, I'm proud to be single. And I just bet about seven of you turned your lights off. Bet you regret it!" he laughed. "ANYWAY. Remus is a really nice guy…though he's an even better prankster! Don't let the innocent look fool you, ladies…he can be badass when he wants to be!"

Two more lights went out, but I was pleased to see that Dora still had hers on. She was staring at the screen, confusion in her eyes. Paddy butted in.

"Well. Four lights left. Now, here is the best bit- you can turn the lights off by TWO girls! The final two will be asked a question…GO!"

I walked over to the women. The four remaining were Dora, two blondes called Rita and April, and a redhead called June. I walked over to the blondes, who were smirking at me, and definitely checking me out. I immediately turned off their lights- blondes weren't my types. They started scowling. Paddy ran up.

"Now, the fun begins! You, Remus, can choose a question and answer it. Both girls must answer too, and the girl you like the most, you get to go with!" he yelled. I thought about it for a while.

"Ok, I have one. If you met a werewolf, what would you do?" I asked nervously. June and Dora thought about it for a while, then were ready to answer. June went first.

"I'd probably keep away from it, and call the police or something, but stay calm." she replied. I nodded. Dora went next.

"Well, I'd see what it was like first. Maybe it was just misjudged, and may not even be dangerous, so why would I harm it? I'd probably just talk to it, and try and let it trust me." she replied simply. Paddy nodded too.

"Nice answers. Remus, what was your answer?"

"My answer would definitely be find a stray dog for it to play with." I said, while the audience laughed. I looked over at the two girls, who seemed to be praying.

"Now the time has come. Remus, turn the light off by the girl you do NOT want to go with." he cried.

I walked over to Dora, and looked at June. She was smirking at Dora. I ran over and turned June's light off. Dora blinked, then broke into a massive smile. She ran over to me, and hugged me. I heard Paddy speak, but didn't listen. I was too happy. As he let us go, Dora reached up and kissed me full on the lips. I walked out with her in a daze. A couple of minutes later, she seemed to remember something.

"There's a…secret that I've kept…" she muttered.

"What?" I asked.

"My name isn't Dora…It's Nymphadora…go ahead and laugh…" she mumbled, blushing.

"It's a beautiful name." I smiled. "I have a secret too…"

"What's yours?" she asked interestedly.

I frowned. "I don't want to scare you off…"

"Aw come on! I told you mine!" she moaned.

"…I'm a werewolf…" I said slowly.

"Really? Wicked!" she cried.

"You're not scared?" I asked, feeling relieved.

"Of course not! A witch and a werewolf….perfect match!" she chuckled, and we walked away.

Finally, I was happy. But…I better get ready for the teasing when I get home.

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**So how was it? I edited their age a bit, made Tonks slightly older, but I didn't say. Review please! HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!**


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